Habit 1 - Be Proactive
PRINCIPLE - I am free to choose and am responsible for my choices.See(
Paradigm)->Do(
Behavior)->Get(
Result)->See->Do->Get->...
Paradigm-The way we see, understand, and interpret the world; our mental map
-Ineffective: I am a product of my circumstances.
-Effective: I am a product of my choices.
Behavior-Pause and respond based on principles.
-Use proactive language.
-Expand your Circle of Influence.
-Become a transition person.
Result-Increased influence
-More self-awareness
-Greater initiative
-Becoming the creative force of your life
The results we get in life depend on what we do. What we do in life depends on how we see the world around us.PAUSE AND RESPOND BASED ON PRINCIPLES
Reactive Behavior - Reactive people allow outside influences (moods, feelings, and circumstances) to control their response.
Stimulus xXxXx ResponseProactive Behavior - Proactive people pause to allow themselves the freedom to choose their response based on principles and desired results. Their freedom to choose expands as they wisely use the space between stimulus and response.
Stimulus --> Freedom to Choose -->Response People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. (George Bernard Shaw)Thoreau said, "I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor." This is the essence of Habit 1: Be Proactive. In a world filled with victims, highly effective people refuse to let their circumstances determine their
choices. You too can learn to take charge and see your life from a new, elevated perspective.
Habit 2 - Begin With the End in Mind
MENTAL CREATION PRECEDES PHYSICAL CREATION
All things are created twice. First is the mental creation or plan; second is the physical creation or work. Highly effective people clearly see the outcome they want they want in every area of life before they act.
First Creation(Mental Creation) -> Second Creation(Physical Creation)
A clear agenda and objective -> A Productive meeting
An architectural blueprint -> An office tower
Extensive market research -> A successful new product
An individual goal-setting session -> A master's degree
A Personal Mission Statement -> A life of contribution and fulfillment
CREATE AND LIVE BY A PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT
A Personal Mission Statement is like a constitution by which you make all decisions for your life. Highly effective people shape their own future instead of letting other people, their culture, or their circumstances determine it.
PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT-Your purpose and meaning in life.
Benefits of a Personal Mission Statement:
-Clarifies what is important to you.
-Provides focus.
-Helps you design your life instead of having it designed for you.
-Guides your day-to-day decisions.
-Gives you a greater sense of meaning and purpose designed for you.
There is no greater joy nor greater reward than to make a fundamental difference in someone's life. (Sister Mary Rose McGeady)
Habit 2 is focused on using your imagination and conscience to create a mental picture of the life you want. This is the habit of leadership, developing the discipline to rise above the day-to-day efforts to ensure you're working toward what is really most important to you. You'll learn how to create a Personal Mission Statement that can become your personal map to success.
Habit 3 - Put First Things First
FOCUS ON TOP PRIORITIES
Although they are both important, the compass must come before the clock, because where you're headed is more important than how fast you're getting there.
The compass represents your mission, direction, and values - what you feel matters most.
The clock represents your appointments, schedules, and activities - how you manage your time.
Compass --- ClockEffectiveness --- EffeciencyRelationships --- Schedules
Important things ---
Urgent things
ELIMINATE THE UNIMPORTANT
Important: Activities that represent your values, mission, and high-priority goals.
Urgent: Activities that require immediate attention.
I - IMPORTANT & URGENT-Crises
-Pressing problems
-Deadline-driven projects, meetings, reports
II - IMPORTANT & NOT URGENT
-Preparation
-Prevention
-Planning
-Relationship building
-Re-creation
-Values clarification
LIVE ABOVE THE LINE (I&II)
III - NOT IMPORTANT & URGENT
-Needless interruptions
-Unnecessary reports
-Unimportant meetings, phone calls, mail, e-mail
-Other people's minor issues
IV - NOT IMPORTANT & NOT URGENT
-Trivia, busywork
-Irrelevant phone calls, mail, e-mail
-Time-wasters
-"Escape" activities
-Excessive TV, Internet, relaxation
I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier, they wouldn't have to go so fast. (Steven Wright)
E. M. Gray once observed. "The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don't like like to do. They don't like doing them either necessarily. But their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose." This is the essence of Habit 3. You'll learn a new mindset for examining how you spend your time, and you'll learn how to focus your efforts in ways that create greater success both professionally and personally.
Habit 4 - Think Win-WinABUNDANCE OR SCARCITY MINDSET?If you don't have some grounding in the Private Victory, it will be difficult to Think Win-Win.
Read each phrase below and determine where you think you are on the continuum.
ABUNDANCE: I believe there is plenty out there for everybody(e.g., options, success, opportunities, credit).
SCARCITY: I believe there is only so much, and the more you get, the less there is for me.
ABUNDANCE: I am happy for the successes of others, especially those closest to me.
SCARCITY: I am threatened by the successes of others, especially those closest to me.
ABUNDANCE: I treat everyone with equal respect.
SCARCITY: I treat people with varying degrees of respect based on position or status.
ABUNDANCE: I find it easy to share recognition and credit.
SCARCITY: I have a difficult time sharing recognition and credit.
ABUNDANCE: I have a deep inner sense of personal worth and security.
SCARCITY: I find my sense of self-worth from being compared and from competition.
BALANCE COURAGE AND CONSIDERATIONCourage: Willingness and ability to speak your thoughts and feelings.
Consideration: Willingness and ability to seek and listen to others' thoughts and feelings with respect.
CREATE WIN-WIN AGREEMENTSElements of an effective Win-Win Agreement:Desired Results: What's the end in mind? What are the outcomes I want?
Guidelines: What rules do I follow? What are the guidelines for accomplishing the results?
Resources: What resources do I have to work with (e.g., people, money, tools, materials, technology)?
Accountability: How will we measure how well it's going?
Consequences: What are the rewards of achieving the outcome? What are the consequences of not achieving the outcome?
One of the biggest things I've learned is that I don't have to always be right. (Jeffrey B. Swartz)Win-Win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. This habit is based on the paradigm that there is plenty for everybody. One person's success is not at the expense of the success of others. By truly living this habit, organizations, corporations, and families are infinitely more prepared to break through old barriers and achieve new heights of success.
Habit 5 - Seek First to Understand, Then to be UnderstoodLISTEN EMPATHICALLY
Emphatic Listening is reflecting what a person feels and says in your own words. It is not listening to advise, counsel, reply, refute, solve, fix, change, judge, agree, disagree, question, analyze, or figure out.
Traditional Chinese character: "to listen with a virtuous heart." (Ears, Eyes, Heart)
When I ask you to listen and you start giving advice, you have not done what I have asked. When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings. When I ask you to listen and you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as it may seem. Listen! All I ask is that you listen; not talk or do --- just hear me. (Ralph Roughton, M.D.)
THE ELEMENTS OF EMPHATIC LISTENING
Emphatic Listening is reflecting what a person feels and says in your own words.
You feel Angry, frustrated, excited, sad, irritated, ignored, misunderstood, happy, nervous, hesitant, embarrassed, foolish, upset, discouraged, stifled, disrespected, emotional, confused, speechless, unsure, enthusiastic about Content, topic, or meaning of what is being said.
Helpful Language to Get You Started
-As I get it, you feel ...
-So as you see it ...
-You seem ...
-You must have felt ...
-You sound ...
-What I'm hearing is ...
-I'm not sure I'm with you, but ...
-Your feeling now is ...
Tips:
1. Focus on the speaker, not on your "correct" response to the speaker.
2. If you get stuck, just repeat what the speaker says. If you are sincerely trying to understand, you won't be perceived as being manipulative.
3. Don't be afraid of silence. Sometimes just listening and saying nothing is the best way to get to the heart of an issue.
Most people typically listen with the intent to reply. Habit 5 explores the essential communication skill of listening to truly understand which helps us to avoid reading our own autobiographies into other people's lives. It opens us up to one another's perspectives, ideas, and emotions. Then real communication can happen, new and better ideas can be conceived, and everyone involved can learn from one another.
Habit 6 - Synergize
WHAT IS SYNERGIZING?
Synergizing is a process of interacting that highly effective people use to get to synergy, or the Third Alternative.
Synergizing is:
1. Results-oriented, positive energy.
2. Examining, exploring, and seeking different perspectives openly enough to alter or complete your paradigm.
3. Win-win cooperation.
4. Having a mutually agreed-upon end in mind.
5. Worth the effort and highly effective.
Synergizing is not:
1. A brainstorming free-for-all that leads nowhere.
2. Accepting others' ideas as full truth.
3. Win-lose competition.
4. Groupthink (giving in to peer pressure).
5. Always easy.
Types of Interaction (Outcome)
Synergy --- Third Alternative {1+1=3,10,100} (Transformation)
Compromise {1+1=1.5} (Transaction)
Defensiveness {1+1=0.5} (Contention)
Hostility {1+1=-1,-10,-100} (Contention)
If two people have the same opinion, one is unnecessary. (Stephen R. Covey)
PRACTICE CREATIVE COOPERATION
Synergizing is a creative process that explores new possibilities to benefit all parties involved. At its best, it is a process that results in the Third Alternative.
Getting to Synergy
Your Way & My Way --> Check Willingness --> Reflect Viewpoints --> Create New Ideas --> Check Willingness --> Reflect Viewpoints --> Create New Ideas --> Third Alternative
-Check Willingness.
Be willing to search for a solution that is better than what either of you has in mind.
-Reflect Viewpoints.
Restate the other's viewpoint to his or her satisfaction before you state your own.
-Create New Ideas.
Propose and refine new ideas. Go back for further understanding until you arrive at a Third Alternative.
Synergy is the essence of principle-centered leadership. It catalyzes, unifies, and unleashes the greatest powers within people. All the other habits prepare you to create synergy. Simply defined, synergy means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. When we truly value, respect, and engage our differences, we are prepared to reach for entirely new ideas and breakthrough results.
Habit 7 - Sharpen the Saw
PHYSICAL DIMENSION
Assume you've had a heart attack in the last month. How would you approach exercise and nutrition?
To renew yourself physically, consider these suggestions:
-Get the amount of sleep you know your body needs.
-Set health and fitness goals (e.g., run a marathon, reach a certain cholesterol level or a target weight).
-Include vegetables, fruits, whole grains, fiber, and lots of water in your diet.
-Ensure that your exercise routine is not one-dimentional but includes flexibility, strength training, and cardiovascular endurance.
-Reduce stress by eliminating Quadrant III activities --- get out of the urgency trap.
SOCIAL/EMOTIONAL DIMENSION
Assume that everything you say about people will be heard by them. How might you choose your words differently?
To renew yourself socially/emotionally, consider these suggestions:
-Keep your relationships in constant repair through continual deposits to the Emotional Bank Account.
-Value the differences in others and look for opportunities to Synergize.
-Practice Emphathic Listening regularly with the people who are important to you.
-Widen your circle of friends.
-Forgive yourself and others who may have hurt you.
-Build family relationships --- both immediate and extended.
-Let go of the damaging competitive feelings you may have toward others.
MENTAL DIMENSION
Assume your knowledge and skills will be obsolete in two years. What new learning avenues would you explore?
To renew yourself mentally, consider these suggestions:
-Keep a journal. Your journal can become your space for working out problems.
-Read voraciously. And if you don't understand that word...well,our point exactly.
-Collect quotations. The sentiments of great people stimulate the mind.
-Develop a hobby. It allows you to do something you love doing.
-Continue your education. Train your mind to stand apart and examine its own paradigm.
SPIRITUAL DIMENSION
Assume you have a year to live. What legacy would you want to leave?
To renew yourself spiritually, consider these suggestions:
-Create, review, and refine your Personal Mission Statement.
-Watch, listen, and enjoy the world of nature.
-Read inspirational literature, in particular biographies of people who inspire you.
-Commit to a life of total integrity to your priorities.
-Listen to inspirational, uplifting music.
-Commit to serve in your comunity. Give of your time, money, and self.
-Practice spiritual worship that edifies.
Based on the analogy of a man too busy cutting down trees to pause and sharpen his saw, this habit helps you see the importance of renewing your most valuable asset --- you. By practicing Habit 7, you preserve and enhance your productivity in all areas of life. Dr. Covey will help you understand the four dimensions of your nature, physical, spiritual, mental, and social/emotional.
Habit 8 - From Effectiveness To Greatness
